When the Relationship Ended
Last year, I came out of a three-year relationship that had already been unstable for a long time. We had been on and off, arguing often, but I stayed because I believed we would eventually get married. At least, I believed that. But just a few days before he travelled abroad, he told me he had gotten a visa, and that was when everything ended. I wasn’t included in his plans, and just like that, the relationship was over. I was shattered. I don’t know if that moment was exactly when my mental health struggle began, but I do know that the relationship and how it ended affected me deeply.
The Ripple Effect
Almost a year later, I still feel like I haven’t fully recovered. I struggle with low self-esteem and often blame myself for how things turned out. I keep wondering what I did wrong or what I could have done better. And that constant self-blame has affected how I see myself and my worth. I also struggle with anxiety about the future, and I’m always worrying about whether I will ever find someone again or if I will be able to settle down. Sometimes, it feels like I’ve lost that chance completely.
This has started to affect other parts of my life too, especially my work. Sometimes I feel absent-minded, and I hold back more than I used to. It’s even harder because of my family. They never accepted him from the beginning, and now it feels like I proved them right. That has brought a sense of shame, and it comes up in conversations with them almost every time. Because of this, I find myself avoiding them more and more. Emotionally, I feel drained. I don’t enjoy things the way I used to, and I’ve lost hope when it comes to relationships. Some days, I just feel like I’m in a really dark and terrible place.
Taking It One Step at a Time
What has been most challenging is the feeling that my life somehow stopped after the breakup. Even though I go about my daily activities, most of the time I feel upset or distracted. But there are a few things that have helped me cope. Prayer has been one of them. When I feel overwhelmed, I pray, sing worship songs, and try to calm myself. I also have a friend who has been very supportive. Even though she warned me about the relationship before, she didn’t turn her back on me. She still encourages me to go out, meet people, and keep moving forward. I also find comfort in simple things like watching MMHI videos, although most of the videos are not directly about relationships, but they help me reflect and improve myself.
Before all of this, I never really thought about mental health. I believed that as long as I wasn’t physically sick, then I was fine. Now, I see things differently. I think there should be more awareness about mental health. People need to talk about it more openly, because sometimes just hearing others’ experiences helps you realize you are not alone. I also believe people should learn to be more supportive of each other. Even if it’s not directly part of mental health care, it makes a big difference in how people cope. Right now, I’m still trying to rebuild myself, and I’m learning to pick up new hobbies and do things that make me happy again.
Joy is a receptionist working in a hotel in Enugu. She is currently exploring new hobbies, rediscovering herself, and finding joy in everyday activities, especially cooking.
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