Anxiety is a word I had to learn at an early age.
Realising Something Was Wrong
I have a very clear memory of the moment I first realised something might be wrong with my mental health. I was a teenager who had just moved to a different country, a place where the language was foreign to me, the culture unfamiliar, and every face felt like a stranger. The adjustment was tougher than I could have ever imagined. It wasn’t just about missing home; it was the loneliness, the overwhelming feeling of not belonging, and the silent battles no one else could see.
My first real awareness of my mental health came unexpectedly, in the middle of a regular school day. I remember feeling this unbearable heaviness in my chest, like the air had suddenly thickened and breathing became a task. I made my way to the bathroom, hyperventilating and crying, genuinely convinced I was going to die. That was my first panic attack. I called my parents in tears, certain I was losing my mind. That terrifying day marked the beginning of my mental health journey, the moment I realised that something was wrong… somewhere, as I sometimes laugh about now. After a few more similar episodes, I met with a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder at just 15 years old.
Living with Anxiety
Since then, my mental health journey has woven itself into every aspect of my life. It’s shaped how I see myself, how I connect with others, and how I navigate my world. The biggest impact, I’d say, has been on my social life. I still experience moments of anxiety, and as a full-time Master’s student now, it sometimes feels like an old, unwelcome friend that shows up uninvited. But one thing that’s changed is the way I speak to myself. I no longer say “I have anxiety”, I say “I’m feeling anxious about this.” I refuse to let it define me. It sounds like a small thing, but it changes everything. It turns a fixed identity into a passing feeling.
Being aware of my anxiety has also influenced how I work and relate to people. I’ve learned to prepare myself in a very Type A way, managing expectations, both my own and others’. I’ve learned the value of honesty, letting people know what they can and can’t expect from me. I’ve become a firm believer that communication is key, and sometimes, surrendering what’s beyond my control is not a weakness but a necessity.
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Finding Ground in the Chaos
Some moments along this journey have been especially hard to navigate. Recently, I went through a breakup, and shortly after, one of my closest friends left the country. Those were tough, lonely days. But I found solace in simple routine, little rituals of self-care that grounded me. Getting my hair and nails done, seeing familiar faces at the salon, and making an effort to reach out to friends made a world of difference. It showed me that even though some things were falling apart, some things were still constant. Those small acts reminded me that I was still here, still standing, and still deserving of care.
If there’s one thing I wish I’d done differently, it would be sticking with therapy. I stopped going because every session left me in tears, and at the time, I thought that was a bad thing. But in hindsight, I realise I cried more and sadder tears when I stopped. Therapy had been one of the few places where I could be completely honest, not just with myself but with my parents too. It gave me the courage to talk about things I would have otherwise buried.
Reflections and a Call to Action
Now, if I could offer a piece of advice to anyone out there, it would be this: Mental health is becoming a popular conversation, and that’s beautiful. But it should be more than a talk, it should be a walk. It should be something we actively work towards every day. Don’t wait until you’re falling apart to care for your mind. Go to therapy, reach out, build routines that serve you. You lose nothing.
Temi is the first of three and take pride in being a big sister to both her biological and non-biological siblings. Mental health and psychology means the world to her, so they have a significant influence on her life. She hopes to positively influence those around her to make their mental health important and set goals that are intentional.
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